How to Get Your Asperger’s Child to Give up That Loose Tooth

Gus has a few loose teeth, but there was one that was sticking out and was clearly ready to come out. When it finally got to the point of hanging by a threadlike piece of skin, even he wanted it out lest he accidentally swallow it. There was a sort of approach-avoidance thing happening. "Ok, pull it out…No! Leave it alone!" On and on it went, delaying the much longed for (by me, not him) bedtime. DH wanted me to just leave it be, but there was also the problem of Gus having field day the following day – wouldn't want it knocked out on the field, now would we? So we had to do something drastic. Here's the process that worked for me:

1. Repeatedly assure your child that he can certainly leave the tooth in, especially when he insists he wants it out. Never underestimate the power of reverse psychology.
   
2. Try an easy method of tooth removal first, like plucking out with your fingers. This can accomplish two things – first you can see just how ready the tooth is to come out an second, you can subtly loosen it a little more until your child screams again to leave the tooth in.
   
3. Make lots of jokes and then pull out something really scary, like pliers. Tell your child to keep his eyes closed (he won't) and then grasp the tooth with the pliers. Do not pull! The tooth may come out, but not likely. Your child may think you're nuts and then (hopefully) will find it silly once you start laughing it off.
   
4. Offer to use a string to pluck it out. For the child with sensory defensiveness, of course, this will not fly, but best to get all the options on the table, especially the ones you know are absolutely not going to work.
   
5. Go brush teeth. The tooth will pop out like a hot kernel of corn. Your child won't even notice. He'll be too busy making sure you're not hiding pliers behind your back!
   
6. Oh, and remember to take care of all tooth-fairy business as soon as possible! The worst is to forget and have your child confront you before dawn in the morning!
   

In all seriousness, I've now found that tooth brushing seems to be a fairly painless and easy way to get stubborn loose teeth out. How do you get your child's teeth out when they are ready? Or do you just leave them alone?

P.S. Just to be clear, I wasn't actually terrorizing my son - there was a great deal of laughing and silliness going on at the time.

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Funny Boy

Gus asked about his allergies and eczema last night. In the process of explaining exactly how each affects him so that he wouldn't worry (the anxiety was very evidently building) I forgot my good grammar skills and this is what came out of it:

"Every season, your allergies just make you a little itchy and runny and stuffy and cough-y..."

"Coffee? I'm too young for coffee!"

He then exploded into giggles. I've got a real wise guy on my hands. I love it!

This Is Not a Prank Post!

Free Original Clipart at Designed to a T

I was really tempted to do an April Fool's prank post, but considering my topic, pretty much anything could have been seen as mean instead of funny, so I scrapped the idea. But my kids have given me more than enough laughter today, so I don't feel like I'm missing anything. Here are some of the highlights:

I hear Gus in the bathroom and then MM's door opens. "Gus. The house is going to explode!" A perfect mix of panic and disbelief infuses her voice through early morning coughs.

"What?" He's caught off guard.

"April Fool's!" They both laugh. I send DH to go check on the kids because I have a feeling someone forgot to put their shorts back on.

"Mommy wants to know what you want for breakfast: ketchup or syrup. She's making sauerkraut." Gus doesn't take the bait.

"Ketchup." He sounds serious and a little distracted, but I can hear the lopsided grin. DH is the one caught off guard this time, and then he gets it.

"Aah! You knew I was joking! Good one!" He goes to shower and I drag myself from the warm sheets. It's chilly. Gus has disappeared into his sister's room – possibly in search of those underpants that he's missing.

"Morning, MM," I say.

"Good morning, Mommy." She smiles.

"Ok, that's enough. I don't want to talk to you for the rest of the day." I turn to leave.

"What?" she cries.

I know she's very sensitive, so timing is everything. Too soon and the joke is diminished, but if I wait too long, she'll get upset. "April Fool's!" I spin around with a big grin. He mouth forms an 'O' and she cracks up.

Is anyone going to bother getting ready for school today, or will we just sit around playing lame pranks on each other all day? At this point it could go either way!

Gus comes back to his room and I remind him that he needs to put something on.

"Why are your pants green?" he asks. I could go easy on him, but he can take it if I'm not, unlike his sister. He loves a good joke. Whoever said Aspies have no sense of humor was clearly kidding and just forgot their punch line.

Gus finally finds his underpants. "Put your pants on now." He starts to put one leg in, and I get an idea. "Unless you don't want to. You can wear shorts today if you want." He looks at me, half skeptical, half wanting to believe, totally unsure.

"Why?" Good boy, don't get suckered that easily! This is a day to be on your guard, even with Mom!

"Because it's summer." I make it sound so obvious, and he goes for it. Gus rifles through his drawer looking for some shorts, which of course he will not find. "If you don't have any, though, you'll have to go to school in your underwear." He smirks.

"What happened to your shirt? It's gray…April Fool's! You thought your pants were green!" It is a good try.

"What do you mean? My pants are green. My shirt is black and my pants are green. You can't fool me." We both know my pants are blue plaid, but who's going to crack the smile first? We call that one a draw. There will be plenty more jokes this afternoon and Gus will be tickled by every one.

I've been listening to an audio version of Look Me In the Eye by John Elder Robison (check the sidebar). Robison wrote an amazing memoir of his life as a person with Asperger's Syndrome. One thing that strikes me is that he became quite the prankster at a pretty young age. Some of the jokes he played on people – even the authorities in his town according to one story – got quite elaborate.

Gus has a pretty wicked sense of humor most of the time. He's funnier when he's not trying. I think in a couple of years I'm going to have to start watching out for him on a day like today. He might just get me one of these days.

On a more serious note, today is World Autism Day – what are you doing to promote autism awareness? Have a great day and watch out for those pranksters!

Battle of the Bedroom (or When Sensory Issues Keep You Awake)

Welcome, sports fans, to the 395,687,630 face-off between Gus and Andrea in a battle royale for the coveted Good Night's Sleep trophy!

In the red corner, Gus weighs in with several weeks of good sleep and a four day weekend, giving him the advantage over his mom. His weaknesses will be a sudden recurrence of his fear of the dark and his sensory issues, like supersonic hearing. If he wakes up in the middle of the night, he will have a very hard time getting back to sleep, especially if he can't control his leg-shaking Whispering Scritch power, which has special effectiveness against Andrea's hypersensitive ears. Will he be able to hold it together? Also on the red team is MM, who has the power to talk anyone into complete madness. A dangerous opponent, especially in the pre-dawn hours.

In the blue corner we have Andrea, chronically sleep deprived, running out of patience and still recovering from yesterday's crushing defeat by MM who woke Andrea at 4:30 a.m. But don't count Andrea out yet, folks! She still has the ability to transform into Crazy Cranky Mom when awoken, with her Whispering Menace ability that can instill pure terror in any school aged child unfortunate enough to be the one to wake her. She may be able to use Gus's Whispering Scritch against him, and if he's not careful she will further transform into Psycho Mom. The only one who can prevent Psycho Mom from raining Armageddon down on the planet is her blue partner, DH. While he is perfectly capable of sleeping through the Armageddon, he is susceptible to her kicking him out of bed. Who will triumph between these two fearsome foes? Stay tuned!

Round 1
Gus convinces Andrea to let him sleep in the extra bed in the blue room for the night because he's afraid of monsters. Pulling out his Pitiful Look ability, he quickly subdues Andrea, and she gives in. Gus gets to bed with no problems and sleeps through the blue team going to bed a few hours later. Although Gus was ahead in points at the beginning of the round, Andrea's Stealth Mode balances the score.

Round 2
Gus suddenly wakes up screaming and flies into the bathroom, shocking Andrea out of a peaceful snooze at 1 o'clock. She controls her transformation and kicks DH awake to get Gus back in bed. Point to Andrea. But when Gus gets back in bed, the leg-shaking kicks in. Whispering Scritch hits Andrea hard and fast! She transforms - Crazy Cranky Mom is on the loose, and she let's go with Whispering Menace - the mom ability to scream and whisper at the same time.

"Be still and go to sleep or you are going back to your own room."

And Gus is silenced! The round goes to the blue team!

Round 3
"What was that? I heard the door!" Gus is still awake at 2 a.m. and Crazy Cranky Mom is done in; the prior night's defeat takes its toll. She grows into a 20 foot, green hulking beast (at least in her own mind - in reality , she's still under 5 1/2 feet tall and brown-skinned) - Psycho Mom has entered the building! But she's still hanging onto her self-control.

"That wasn't the door. Go back to sleep."

Gus is persistent - he knows he's got her on the ropes now. "What was it?" And just for a little added zing, he throws in a Whiny Voice.

But wait! Psycho Mom digs deep and finds some inner reserve of strength! "It's the roof settling. Go. Back. To. Sleep."

In a last desperate attempt, Gus reverts to Whispering Scritch and the leg starts shaking again. Psycho Mom is undone.

"You either be still and go to sleep or go back to your own bed!" Of course her shriek never raises above the level of intimate conversation. But the menace in her voice is so terrible, Gus throws the cover over his head and lies frozen, or at least quiets down enough for Psycho Mom to go back to sleep. Round to the blue team.

Round 3
The red team is in bad shape, so they pull out their secret weapon: the alarm clock. It goes off at 5:30; DH doesn't move. There is no world destruction requiring his immediate attention. MM strikes. She very noisily goes to the bathroom and then comes into the blue team's corner, where Gus is still KO'd. With her most powerful, pitiful whine, she moans, "Mooommmm-meeeeee! I'm lonely over there! Everyone's over heeeeeere and I'm the only one over there all by myselllllllf!" Psycho Mom has lost all her fight and shrinks back (not literally, since she never really grew in size) into her weaker Andrea form. With a whimper she gives in, kicks DH out of the bed and let's MM climb in. MM, pressing the advantage, accepting nothing less than a complete victory, starts talking loudly. And the red team takes it - Knock Out!

Andrea grumbles about running away to Chile.



P.S. I can either make myself laugh or lay down and cry. Choosing to laugh it off today. :-) Have you ever had a really bad night that you were able to laugh about the next day? Share your story!!