It's Duck Season...No, It's Wabbit Season...No, It's Tick Season

What's more fun than a barrel of rage-infected monkeys? Trying to remove a very large, very gross, very embedded, and very engorged tick from your very panicky autistic child. And for extra laughs, try doing it in a supermarket parking lot.

Yesterday, my poor Gus found a huge tick behind his right ear. He seemed to feel it suddenly and started scratching at it as we were getting in the car to leave the supermarket. One look told me that it had been there at least since the day before, and that's really the only time he could have gotten it. Of course, I panicked because, well: supermarket parking lot, kid picking at nasty bug, twenty minute ride home...take your pick of bad situational elements.

After dragging the kids through the parking lot trying to find someone with tweezers, I finally went back into the supermarket and a lovely clerk gave me a pair. I took Gus outside (with MM in tow, bless her little heart, she was so good about it) and with him screaming bloody murder, I managed to rip the thing apart and leave the head embedded. In other words, exactly what I was not supposed to do. It's kind of hard to remember all the rules in the midst of a panic, especially when you don't know the rules to begin with. I sort of half knew them, but with him twisting and writhing (and the nice people in the parking lot staring like I was ripping his head off instead of the bug's) just as I grabbed the head, Gus jerked and...pop, squish, off came the body without the head.

The good news is that the tiny deer ticks are usually the lyme carriers, but this isn't set in stone, so we will still watch for the signs of lyme: fever, fatigue, rash (can appear as long as 6-8 weeks from the time of the bite), etc.

From what I've learned, the most important thing is to not squeeze the tick because that makes it inject more (potentially infected) muck into the site. To remove a tick, if tweezers are the only thing available (preferably splinter tweezers), you've got to get the head and pull back gently to avoid breaking the tick and getting the head stuck in the skin, which can lead to infection. The head itself won't transmit lyme, but infection is still not really desirable. There are apparently devices, available in pet stores, for removing ticks that are supposed to be more effective than tweezers:

Commercially available tick-removal devices include the Sawyer Tick Pliers (B&A Products, Bunch, Okla.), Pro-Tick Remedy (SCS Limited, Stony Point, N.Y.) and Ticked Off (Ticked Off Inc., Dover, N.H.)*

From American Family Physician

Methods to avoid include hot matches, vaseline, clear nail polish or nail polish remover to get the tick to dislodge. Those tend to make the little bloodsuckers dig in deeper and, you guessed it, squirt more nasty fluids.

Two preventative measures to take against these critters are to use insect repellent regularly, which can be difficult with a child who has sensory defensiveness to smells, and to perform tick checks. I've tried several formulas for Gus that he has absolutely hated. Aside from the odors, he doesn't like being sprayed with things. I'm next going to try a natural lemon and eucalyptus repellent (doesn't have a very strong smell). Bed, Bath and Beyond used to sell insect repellent bracelets (they looked like small coils) but I found those to be ineffective, and the kids would just play with them and take them off anyway. There are wipes to use for kids who dislike sprays.

During this time of year, especially if you live in a grassy, woody area where ticks are prevalent,you should check for ticks carefully every day. Spending a lot of time outdoors isn't a requirement for getting a tick - MM has had them jump her when she was just passing by a bush as soon as we left our house. (I caught that little bugger before he could attach himself.) She hadn't even made it to the grass and was still on the concrete path. We usually check every night, but it's not hard to miss something that small - do your best and be sure to check between toes, hairline, behind the ears, armpits and groin area.

Gus is fine now and I'm fairly certain we were able to get the rest of the tick dislodged from his skin. Be careful out there - the bugs seems to be particularly numerous this year. For us, we're going to try one of those tick removing devices very soon. This happened just in time for us to go camping! Keep your fingers crossed for us!

How to Get Your Asperger’s Child to Give up That Loose Tooth

Gus has a few loose teeth, but there was one that was sticking out and was clearly ready to come out. When it finally got to the point of hanging by a threadlike piece of skin, even he wanted it out lest he accidentally swallow it. There was a sort of approach-avoidance thing happening. "Ok, pull it out…No! Leave it alone!" On and on it went, delaying the much longed for (by me, not him) bedtime. DH wanted me to just leave it be, but there was also the problem of Gus having field day the following day – wouldn't want it knocked out on the field, now would we? So we had to do something drastic. Here's the process that worked for me:

1. Repeatedly assure your child that he can certainly leave the tooth in, especially when he insists he wants it out. Never underestimate the power of reverse psychology.
   
2. Try an easy method of tooth removal first, like plucking out with your fingers. This can accomplish two things – first you can see just how ready the tooth is to come out an second, you can subtly loosen it a little more until your child screams again to leave the tooth in.
   
3. Make lots of jokes and then pull out something really scary, like pliers. Tell your child to keep his eyes closed (he won't) and then grasp the tooth with the pliers. Do not pull! The tooth may come out, but not likely. Your child may think you're nuts and then (hopefully) will find it silly once you start laughing it off.
   
4. Offer to use a string to pluck it out. For the child with sensory defensiveness, of course, this will not fly, but best to get all the options on the table, especially the ones you know are absolutely not going to work.
   
5. Go brush teeth. The tooth will pop out like a hot kernel of corn. Your child won't even notice. He'll be too busy making sure you're not hiding pliers behind your back!
   
6. Oh, and remember to take care of all tooth-fairy business as soon as possible! The worst is to forget and have your child confront you before dawn in the morning!
   

In all seriousness, I've now found that tooth brushing seems to be a fairly painless and easy way to get stubborn loose teeth out. How do you get your child's teeth out when they are ready? Or do you just leave them alone?

P.S. Just to be clear, I wasn't actually terrorizing my son - there was a great deal of laughing and silliness going on at the time.

Image from cksinfo.com

Note to Dentists about Your Asperger's Patients

I was hesitant to post today because few things put me in a worse mood than the dentist. I was hopeful about taking Gus to see this new dentist because she'd seen MM recently and all went well. Unfortunately, I think I need to head back to square one again. It wasn't an earth-shatteringly bad visit, I was just not feeling the warm fuzzies when Gus got out of the chair. Here's why:

Dear New Dentist:

First, just because you have had one or two patients on the autism spectrum, that does not make you an expert on autism. Every kid is different. My son does not need to be restrained because he is anxious - that will just make him fight you. Second, when a child is freaking out about a sharp, pointy object near his mouth, shouting at him isn't helpful. Perhaps putting down said sharp, pointy object would be a good idea, especially if you are just counting his teeth. How would you feel if I started absentmindedly jabbing a foreign pointy object near your face? Also, are you aware that the electric toothbrush can send a very irritating tickle straight through a person's skull, especially when that person has hypersensitivity in their mouth? Ease up and let the kid scratch his nose - what's the big deal? If you didn't insist on holding onto your security-sharp-pointy-object, maybe it wouldn't have been such a danger?

Nitrous gas is not the answer to every kid's anxiety. Some kids are made more uneasy by the sensation of losing control. You'd get a lot further with my son if you would just listen to what I'm telling you works; after all, I live with him and get in there to brush his teeth every day. He doesn't like it, but he tolerates it. Is it possible I know something you don't, even if I don't have the framed degree on the wall?

Another thing: I'm trying to teach my son basic dental hygiene - straight teeth are really not a concern at the moment! I am well aware that he has shark teeth. I'm not interested in discussing his need for braces. I heard you the first time you said it - no need to repeat yourself. Crooked teeth are not the end of the world. We've got more pressing issues - like finding a dentist who doesn't make me want to rip their teeth out.

Clearly, you are not really interested in working with my child the way he needs, so maybe just say so and don't waste my time? Is it so difficult to put on a DVD of something soothing instead of Disney channel? I'll even bring the DVD! My child responds to a slow, patient approach with minimal sensory stimulation. If that other mom is okay with you restraining her child or being 'stern' with him, that's her business. That doesn't fly with my guy.

Maybe I was spoiled by our last dentist who, by the way, managed to extract two of Gus's teeth without the slightest agitation and without using gas. He was awesome, although he's on my black list too for just walking out of the practice and abandoning his little patients. But he kept the lights in the room low, had very little noise (no raucous kid shows) and showed an underwater aquarium. He spoke softly and moved slowly, letting Gus know each step of the way what was coming. Nothing state-of-the-art or revolutionary. Imagine that. As a matter of fact, I have half a mind to track that guy down even if we do have to travel two hours to see him. I see disaster ahead if I let you take care of my son's cavity.

Not really trusting you with my son,



Do you have a dentist who can treat your autistic child without a lot of grief? What do they do that you appreciate? What do you wish they'd do differently?

Asperger's Q & A

A commenter had some questions for me, and instead of responding just in a comment, I thought I'd post the answer here in case anyone else was interested. I may do this periodically if anyone's got a question that requires more than a couple of lines of reply.

Q: How old was Gus when you found out about him? Did you know before he was born? I ask this because I don't know how you learned to be so good with handling him. Was it all learning as he aged?

A: Gus was about eighteen months old when we noticed that he wasn't taking much interest in other children. I'd pick him up from day care and see him at one end of the play yard while the rest of the class was at the opposite end. At home when we'd take him to the park, he'd always gravitate away from other children. That was what gave us the first inkling that something was different about him. However, he had sensitivities right from birth. He was always hyper-alert and extremely sensitive to noise. I'm sure plenty of people thought I was a complete, overprotective psycho the way I insisted on total silence when I was trying to get him to sleep, but it was necessary. He was always fidgety and in constant motion - it's largely the way he processes information. Things like fine motor development were delayed, but since he was my first child, I had no point of comparison. I didn't think of anything as 'problematic' until that toddler stage. Another thing that tipped us off around that time was that Gus had been acquiring language and vocabulary at a remarkable rate, but then he stopped for a while. That was the point when we started to see a lot of tantrums, and I started having trouble managing his behavior. But once he got into Early Intervention and was given some communication tools, the meltdowns became much less of an issue. So to answer that part of the question, we didn't know anything before Gus was born, there were signs almost immediately after he was born, but we didn't definitively know that he'd need some special help until he was about 2.

As for handling him (I'm not sure I always handle him so well), it's all been a learning process, and I've had a great deal of help. One thing that made a big difference for us was that my husband and I made the decision that I would spend the majority of my time at home with Gus (and later MM). This allowed me to really learn who he is and how to meet his needs. In addition to that, we've been very lucky with the professionals who have worked with Gus from teachers to pediatricians to therapists. When Gus was in his uncommunicative stage, a parent trainer (social worker from our school district) worked with me to help me manage my own reactions to his behavior. The support of family and friends has been a great help, and the network of autism bloggers I've come across over the past few years has been wonderful resource for information and support as well. So I can't take all the credit for learning how to deal with the challenges of Asperger's - it's been a real group effort, and I'm always refining my approach because my amazing boy changes constantly.

I hope that answers the question! If you have questions or would like to share similar experiences with your child, please feel free to chime in! Have a great weekend!

Time Article on ADHD

Thanks to a Tweet by Dana Jonson, I saw this Time article entitled Kids with ADHD May Learn Better by Fidgeting. In essence, the article highlights a small but thorough study done by Mark Rapport that demonstrates when kids with ADHD are fidgeting, their brains are stimulated in a similar way as with stimulant medications. It seems that if they are allowed to fidget (obviously not to the point of climbing walls) they may actually focus better (even if that seems backwards to a teacher whose brain doesn't work the same way).

I love coming across studies like this because they validate what I've always known about Gus. From the time he was born, two things were very evident: he was extremely alert and taking everything in, and he was never still. Before he could walk, his little legs were always going. I remember trying to teach him to count when he was about 18 months old. Whenever I would ask him something or tell him something, he'd always run to the opposite end of our apartment and then come back with a response. Clearly, this was his way of processing information. So, this day when I worked on counting with him, I took a bunch of apples to the living room and gave them to him, one at a time. Each time he would run and put the apple in the kitchen and we counted up as he returned for the next one. He learned many things doing laps around our apartment.

One of the things I appreciate about his current school program is that when he needs to fidget or move around, he can communicate that to his teacher and be allowed to do so. Before coming into class, he might hop through the hall like a kangaroo to his seat. Then he can start his morning assignment. The movement seems to help a lot.

ADHD is only part of Gus's trouble with focus, because he also has a bunch of sensory integration issues, but ADHD is also the one that we've been advised on occasion to try to medicate. Maybe this study will bring about a shift away from medication and toward giving ADHD kids a little more freedom so their minds can work the way they're wired to. And maybe 'Least Restrictive Environment' might take on a more literal meaning.

And maybe now I won't feel so bad when I don't stop Gus from running the length of the house. He's just stimulating his brain!



*image from cksinfo.com

AMC’s Sensory Friendly Films and Monsters vs. Aliens

Image borrowed according to fair use from Paramount Pictures

A while back it came to my attention that some theaters offered what they called sensory friendly films, but at the time I didn't pay much attention to it. We've only taken our kids to the movies very rarely, mostly because there aren't that many movies we've been interested for them to see. But Monsters vs. Aliens looked a little too good to pass up. We decided to try to take them, but we were concerned about loud explosions bothering both kids, not just Gus. They seemed so excited to see the movie that I decided to do a little research.

It turns out that AMC Theaters partnered with the Autism Society of America to offer these sensory friendly films for kids on the autism spectrum. The films are shown at certain times of the month at select participating theaters. If there isn't a participating theater nearby, you can contact AMC – they might try to change that. The nearest theater to us was about an hour and a half away, near my sister, so we made a day of it. We packed the kids up early in the morning, went out for a big breakfast, and then met my sister and nephew for lunch after the movie.

So modifications did the theater offer? We got lucky that we called for the schedule when we did because this theater offers the accommodations the first Saturday of every month at the first showing. This is beneficial for two reasons: no crowds and matinee rates (we always prefer to pay matinee rates in case Gus doesn't make it through the entire movie). Once the movie started, the lights went down, but not to total darkness. And the best part - which made the movie more enjoyable even for me – the sound was turned down. It was great! The movie was not shown in 3D, which I was grateful for because I was worried about it being too overwhelming for Gus. He got a little fidgety, but not to the extent that he wanted to leave; he just needed to move. No one complained about his movement or when he made comments to the screen. The last time he watched an entire movie in the theater was probably when we went to see Curious George 3 years ago. It was a very nice time.

Was Monsters vs. Aliens worth the 3 hours round trip that we spent in the car? Totally worth it! I've come to have a high level of trust in Dreamworks productions. It was exciting and fun for both kids and parents (there were some hilarious pop culture references) without being crude or obnoxious. In other words, it was just our speed. I highly recommend it!

Have you experienced any sensory friendly films? If so, how did you enjoy it? If not, would you be interested in trying one out?

Where Does Quirkiness End and the Spectrum Begin?

Last summer I read a book called Kids, Parents and Power Struggles by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. While I don't typically read a lot of parenting books, this one stuck with me. Kurcinka talks a bit about temperament and personality types, and what I found most interesting was that some of the extreme manifestations of different types of behavior came very close to mild manifestations of behavior that you might see in a child on the minor end of the autism spectrum. For example, some traits that she discusses in her book are persistence, sensitivity and activity. There's a scale to measure if your child exhibits these traits at a high level or a low level. I remember reading and thinking that there seemed to be a pretty thin line between a highly persistent child and one on the spectrum who might be mildly obsessive. From her description of the sensitivity trait, I wondered where the separation was between a highly sensitive child and a child with mild Sensory Integration Disorder. It occurs to me that these distinctions are purely subjective. I have to wonder if this subjectivity, coupled with a culture that strikes me as obsessed with conformity and sameness, might be a factor in what often appears to be a sudden rise in autism diagnoses.

Years ago when I was in elementary school, I got straight A's, but I rarely paid attention, I often daydreamed, I sometimes got out of my seat for no good reason (one spring I used to sit on top of my desk trying to sun-bleach my hair), and I was often disruptive but not overly active. If I were the same student today, I might be diagnosed with ADD, but back then no one felt the need to classify me as anything. I was just a really smart kid who was probably bored and talked a lot. When Gus was about 18 months old, I noticed that he always seemed to isolate himself from the other kids in his daycare class, but being that I had a deep appreciation for solitude and little experience with 'typical' behavior for a child his age, I wasn't inclined to think of his behavior as problematic. My bigger issue was with his teachers who never seemed to be aware that he was at the opposite end of the play yard all alone.

The more I learn about the autism spectrum, the more similarities I notice between my son and myself, the more I question the validity of some of the things that have been labeled as 'dysfunctional.' I rock side-to-side; if Gus did that he'd be stimming. My friend had a lot to say and a doctor asked her if she had ADHD. Why couldn't it just be a simple case of her having a lot to get off her chest? When did every little difference become such a big issue?

I'm not suggesting that individuals on the autism spectrum don't need extra support because often they do. What they don't need is the stigma of being damaged in some way because of their differences. Maybe instead of trying to force these individuals to perform in a way that is unnatural for them, perhaps the world needs to do a little adapting to the fact that we are not all carbon copies of each other, nor should we be.

Busy Weekend

image by: Ian Britton via Freefoto.com

I've been MIA for a few days because the weekend was just incredibly busy. I was very excited that Gus had an exceptional time in terms of his behavior.

Saturday, the kids spent the day with DH and with their grandfather while Grandmother and I were at a bridal shower. Thankfully it was a magnificent day, so they got to go to the park for a good 3 hours. It always amazes me how much good the outdoors can do for Gus. If only it was nice out all the time and he could have all his classes outdoors. He didn't wander off at all, but all reports, which is huge for him. When everyone came back in, he was much more mellow than he had been on his last visit. He slept almost the whole way home but still slept through the night. Sunday morning, he was still in his calm space.

Sunday afternoon, we went to his little cousin's birthday party. There were a lot more children than I anticipated, and he tried to leave a few times, but all in all, he handled the party well. He held it together when they sang happy birthday (just had his hands over his ears and looked like he wanted to bolt, but didn't). And there was one very surprising and nice aspect of the day. The birthday boy's older brother is also on the spectrum, so he and Gus generally sort of orbit around each other without interacting much. Well yesterday, they actually 'hung out' for a while - Gus watching his cousin play a video game. There were words exchanged! They stayed up there together until Gus wanted a turn to play. His cousin got mad when he was made to share and that was the end of the bonding. But it's a start!

Gus woke up a couple of times last night, but he was still pretty chilled out this morning, so hopefully it was a good day at school as well.

How did your early-spring weekend go?

Battle of the Bedroom (or When Sensory Issues Keep You Awake)

Welcome, sports fans, to the 395,687,630 face-off between Gus and Andrea in a battle royale for the coveted Good Night's Sleep trophy!

In the red corner, Gus weighs in with several weeks of good sleep and a four day weekend, giving him the advantage over his mom. His weaknesses will be a sudden recurrence of his fear of the dark and his sensory issues, like supersonic hearing. If he wakes up in the middle of the night, he will have a very hard time getting back to sleep, especially if he can't control his leg-shaking Whispering Scritch power, which has special effectiveness against Andrea's hypersensitive ears. Will he be able to hold it together? Also on the red team is MM, who has the power to talk anyone into complete madness. A dangerous opponent, especially in the pre-dawn hours.

In the blue corner we have Andrea, chronically sleep deprived, running out of patience and still recovering from yesterday's crushing defeat by MM who woke Andrea at 4:30 a.m. But don't count Andrea out yet, folks! She still has the ability to transform into Crazy Cranky Mom when awoken, with her Whispering Menace ability that can instill pure terror in any school aged child unfortunate enough to be the one to wake her. She may be able to use Gus's Whispering Scritch against him, and if he's not careful she will further transform into Psycho Mom. The only one who can prevent Psycho Mom from raining Armageddon down on the planet is her blue partner, DH. While he is perfectly capable of sleeping through the Armageddon, he is susceptible to her kicking him out of bed. Who will triumph between these two fearsome foes? Stay tuned!

Round 1
Gus convinces Andrea to let him sleep in the extra bed in the blue room for the night because he's afraid of monsters. Pulling out his Pitiful Look ability, he quickly subdues Andrea, and she gives in. Gus gets to bed with no problems and sleeps through the blue team going to bed a few hours later. Although Gus was ahead in points at the beginning of the round, Andrea's Stealth Mode balances the score.

Round 2
Gus suddenly wakes up screaming and flies into the bathroom, shocking Andrea out of a peaceful snooze at 1 o'clock. She controls her transformation and kicks DH awake to get Gus back in bed. Point to Andrea. But when Gus gets back in bed, the leg-shaking kicks in. Whispering Scritch hits Andrea hard and fast! She transforms - Crazy Cranky Mom is on the loose, and she let's go with Whispering Menace - the mom ability to scream and whisper at the same time.

"Be still and go to sleep or you are going back to your own room."

And Gus is silenced! The round goes to the blue team!

Round 3
"What was that? I heard the door!" Gus is still awake at 2 a.m. and Crazy Cranky Mom is done in; the prior night's defeat takes its toll. She grows into a 20 foot, green hulking beast (at least in her own mind - in reality , she's still under 5 1/2 feet tall and brown-skinned) - Psycho Mom has entered the building! But she's still hanging onto her self-control.

"That wasn't the door. Go back to sleep."

Gus is persistent - he knows he's got her on the ropes now. "What was it?" And just for a little added zing, he throws in a Whiny Voice.

But wait! Psycho Mom digs deep and finds some inner reserve of strength! "It's the roof settling. Go. Back. To. Sleep."

In a last desperate attempt, Gus reverts to Whispering Scritch and the leg starts shaking again. Psycho Mom is undone.

"You either be still and go to sleep or go back to your own bed!" Of course her shriek never raises above the level of intimate conversation. But the menace in her voice is so terrible, Gus throws the cover over his head and lies frozen, or at least quiets down enough for Psycho Mom to go back to sleep. Round to the blue team.

Round 3
The red team is in bad shape, so they pull out their secret weapon: the alarm clock. It goes off at 5:30; DH doesn't move. There is no world destruction requiring his immediate attention. MM strikes. She very noisily goes to the bathroom and then comes into the blue team's corner, where Gus is still KO'd. With her most powerful, pitiful whine, she moans, "Mooommmm-meeeeee! I'm lonely over there! Everyone's over heeeeeere and I'm the only one over there all by myselllllllf!" Psycho Mom has lost all her fight and shrinks back (not literally, since she never really grew in size) into her weaker Andrea form. With a whimper she gives in, kicks DH out of the bed and let's MM climb in. MM, pressing the advantage, accepting nothing less than a complete victory, starts talking loudly. And the red team takes it - Knock Out!

Andrea grumbles about running away to Chile.



P.S. I can either make myself laugh or lay down and cry. Choosing to laugh it off today. :-) Have you ever had a really bad night that you were able to laugh about the next day? Share your story!!